Don’t Friend Your Caregivers: The Social Media Envy Trap

Be mindful of your Posts.

Hey there, new caregiving agency owners! I’m so excited you’re starting this journey to make a difference in the lives of families and caregivers. But before you get too far, let’s talk about something that might seem small but can have an impact on your team: social media. We all know social media is a massive part of our lives—we’re spending, on average, 2.5 hours a day on it, which is about 1/10th of our entire day! It’s a powerful tool for growing your business, connecting with clients, and building your brand (like we do at Elder Net Hub). But when it comes to your employees, I’ve got one piece of advice that I can’t stress enough: don’t friend your staff on social media. I know it might feel tough, especially if you’re a small team and want to build that family vibe, but hear me out—this simple boundary can save you from a lot of heartache down the road, especially when it comes to envy.

The Envy Problem: What Happens When Employees See Your Social Media

For some agency owners, the barn door is already open—they’ve friended their employees, and now they’re dealing with the fallout. But as a new agency, you’ve got a chance to start fresh and build a rock-solid foundation. Let’s break down why keeping social media separate from your team is so important, especially in the caregiving world.

Caregivers in the U.S. are earning, on average, under $20 an hour—sometimes as low as $14.43, though it can go up to $18 or $19 with experience. That’s not a lot, especially when you consider the emotional and physical demands of the job. Now, imagine your caregivers scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and seeing your posts: maybe you’re on a dreamy vacation in the Bahamas, showing off a new car, or giving a tour of your beautiful home. Those posts might feel innocent to you—you’re just sharing your life—but to your team, they can stir up envy. Studies back this up. Research, like a 2018 study from Computers in Human Behavior, shows that when employees see their boss’s posts, it often leads to something called upward social comparison. That’s when they compare their own lives to yours and feel like they’re coming up short. The study found that employees who regularly saw their boss’s posts about fancy lifestyles or big achievements felt more jealous than those who didn’t.

This isn’t just a passing feeling—it can mess with your team. A 2020 study in the Journal of Business and Psychology found that envy from social media can lead to lower job satisfaction, less engagement, and even resentment toward you as the boss. That resentment can break down trust and make it harder for your team to work together. The study pointed out that this often comes from a sense of unfairness—like if you’re posting about a new designer bag while your caregivers are struggling to make ends meet on their wages. And it’s not just the big stuff that causes problems. A 2022 study from Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that posts about material things (like a new boat) or exclusive experiences (like a fancy gala) are more likely to trigger envy than personal milestones (like a family birthday). But even small things can backfire—like if you share a photo of your perfect home office while your caregivers are dealing with tough working conditions.

Why Does Envy Happen in the First Place?

There are a few reasons why social media can spark jealousy, especially in a caregiving agency:

• The Caregiving Pay Gap: There’s already a power dynamic at play. You’re the boss, which means you likely have more financial freedom and resources than your caregivers, who are earning modest wages. When they see you posting about a first-class flight or a new gadget, it can make them feel undervalued or like they’ll never get to that level, no matter how hard they work.

• Social Media’s Highlight Reel: Let’s be real—social media isn’t the full picture. Your caregivers don’t see the struggles or hard work behind your success; they just see the shiny end result. That can make them feel like they’re falling behind, even if they’re doing great in their own lives.

• Workplace Stress: Caregiving is tough—emotionally, physically, and mentally. If your team is already feeling overworked or underappreciated, seeing you post from a beach resort while they’re juggling back-to-back shifts can feel like a slap in the face. The contrast is just too much.

• Different Mindsets: Not everyone reacts the same way. A 2019 study in Personality and Individual Differences found that employees who struggle with self-esteem or who crave external validation are more likely to feel jealous when they see their boss’s posts. In caregiving, where burnout is already a risk, this can hit even harder.

How Envy Affects Your Agency

When envy creeps in, it doesn’t just stay online—it spills into your agency’s day-to-day. Here’s what can happen:

• Lower Morale: If caregivers feel jealous, they might start to feel demotivated, thinking their hard work will never lead to the kind of life you’re living.

• Tense Relationships: Envy can create distance between you and your team, making it harder to build the kind of trust and connection that’s so important in caregiving.

• Less Productivity: A 2021 study in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes found that envious employees might start slacking off, gossiping, or even holding back effort as a way to deal with their feelings.

• Higher Turnover: If envy festers, your caregivers might start looking for other jobs where they feel more valued—or where they don’t have to see their boss’s fancy lifestyle on their feed.

How to Avoid the Envy Trap as a New Agency

The good news? As a new agency, you can set yourself up for success by keeping social media boundaries clear from the start. Here’s how:

• Don’t Friend Your Staff: I’ll say it again—don’t connect with your employees on social media. It’s not worth the risk. You can still build a warm, supportive team culture without sharing your personal life online. Keep your accounts separate, and encourage your caregivers to focus on their own well-being, not your posts.

• Be Thoughtful About What You Share: If you do have a public business account, think about how your posts might come across. Avoid flaunting wealth or privileges, especially if your team is going through a tough time. Instead, use your platform to celebrate your caregivers—like sharing a shoutout for a caregiver who went above and beyond for a client.

• Show the Real You: If you’re sharing about your life, don’t just post the glamorous stuff. Share the challenges, too. For example, a post about the hard work that led to a business milestone can feel more relatable than just showing off the end result. It reminds your team that success isn’t handed to you—it’s earned.

• Create a Fair Workplace: Envy often comes from feeling like things aren’t fair. Make sure your caregivers know there’s a clear path to growth in your agency—whether that’s through raises, training, or recognition. Be open about how they can succeed, and show them you value their hard work.

A Little Balance Goes a Long Way

Now, I don’t want to make it sound like social media is all bad. A 2023 study in The Journal of Social Media in Society found that when bosses share posts that align with their team’s values—like highlighting community service or caregiver appreciation—it can actually inspire employees and bring you closer together. The key is to be intentional. If your caregivers already see you as a fair and supportive leader, they’re less likely to feel jealous, even if you share something aspirational.

My Final Thoughts

Social media has blurred the lines between our personal and professional lives, and that can open the door to envy—especially in caregiving, where the pay gap between agency owners and caregivers can feel so stark. Studies show that when employees see their boss’s posts on platforms like Instagram or LinkedIn, it can spark jealousy, particularly if those posts highlight a lifestyle they can’t relate to. But as a new agency, you have the power to avoid this trap. By keeping social media boundaries clear and focusing on building a fair, supportive workplace, you can create a team culture where envy doesn’t have a chance to take root.

My advice for new agency owners? Don’t friend your employees on social media. It’s a simple step that can save you from issues you might not even see coming. You’ve got the chance to build a strong foundation for your agency—one where your caregivers feel valued, supported, and focused on the incredible work they do, not on comparing themselves to your life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts! If you’re a new agency owner, how are you handling social media with your team? Or if you’re a caregiver, have you ever felt envious of a boss’s posts? Drop a comment below and let’s get the conversation going!